I recently spent four unforgettable days in Rome with my book club, where we soaked up art, history, and pasta in every possible form. Our journey started with the book Four Seasons in Rome by Anthony Doerr, which follows an expat family’s life in the Eternal City. As Doerr describes, Rome is warm, and while thoroughly modern, it’s unapologetically passionate and flexible—a city where people know how to live authentically. These themes—authenticity, passion, and flexibility—were a common thread in our experience, and the city echoed them at every turn.
Doerr’s reflections on Rome paint a vivid picture of its people, who, while deeply rooted in tradition, display an impressive flexibility—a way of embracing life with gusto and warmth. As we explored, this theme—amore, a deep love for life—repeated itself everywhere, from the art to the food and even the smallest interactions with people we met.
A Walk Down the Streets of Rome
Our first taste of amore came in a modest trattoria, tucked away from the main tourist streets. After one bite of their eggplant dish, I had to know what made it so mouthwateringly good. The chef, hearing our question, called back with a grin, “AMORE!” His tone was theatrical, his gestures larger-than-life, and it was clear: the dish was indeed prepared with love. That experience reminded me that, in Italy, food isn’t just sustenance—it’s an experience, a moment crafted with care and devotion.
We kicked off our adventure with a GuruWalk tour, my first time exploring with this guide company. Our guide was a force of nature; his love for Rome’s art was contagious. He insisted we linger at each corner, pointing out every perspective trick and illusion on the ceilings of Rome’s many famous churches. One standout was the Church of Sant' Ignazio di Loyola, known for its stunning Baroque fresco by Andrea Pozzo. With each step, our guide had us look at the ceiling from specific angles to see the perspective tricks that made it appear like a grand dome, even though it was an illusion.
Our guide could have just ticked off the facts and moved us along, but he didn’t. His enthusiasm bubbled over; he lingered in each story, each angle—even revealed quirky stories like the reindeer-topped church where locals avoid wedding ceremonies to escape the symbol of "horned" infidelity. Like the chef, this wasn’t just a job to him—it was amore. And it struck me that amore isn’t just about passion; it’s about choosing to see beauty, to care, and to engage fully. It’s a commitment to go beyond “just enough,” to elevate even the smallest of tasks into something memorable and joyful.
Our reading of Four Seasons in Rome had prepared us for this, too. Doerr writes about an Italian grandmother who, upon seeing his infant twins, showers them with kisses and squeezes, a gesture that stands in stark contrast to the reserved, distant American sentiment of “You’re so brave!” And then there was the Roman woman I met on our flight, freshening up just before we landed, telling me how excited she was to see her husband after a few days apart. “I want to look good for him,” she said, a playful sparkle in her eyes. After 25 years together, she still approached this reunion with amore.
As I walked the streets of Rome, surrounded by art that had been crafted not just to exist but to inspire, like Michelangelo’s Sistine Chapel, or the imposing beauty of Bernini’s sculptures, I realized that these artists, chefs, guides, and lovers all had one thing in common: they lived and worked with heart. Each meal, each painting, each story was infused with amore.
Rome Embraces Flexibility
What also stood out to me was the flexibility that Rome seemed to live by. For a city so deeply rooted in history, Romans are remarkably adaptable. They respect tradition, yet welcome spontaneity, bending the “rules” without losing their core values.
Take our dinner on the second night, for instance. We wanted to sit all 12 of us together, but the tables were designed in groups of four, and the restaurant setup wasn’t exactly built for larger gatherings. Yet, they didn’t bat an eye. Instead of politely refusing us, the staff pushed tables together, moved other people politely who were also happy to bend and flex, rearranged seats, and soon we had one long table for our book club feast.
Or, when we were finishing drinks at a bar past closing time, we expected the classic “Last call!” and the lights flashing. But when we asked if there was a way to keep the evening going a little longer, the bartender shrugged, offered us plastic cups, and let us stand outside while they cleaned up. It took us a little more than the “10 minutes” we’d agreed to, but it didn’t seem to matter. This kind of flexibility—meeting people halfway, finding a solution even if it isn’t perfect—felt like a signature trait of the Roman way of life.
It made me think: do we always need to follow rigid rules in our own lives? Must our jobs, our lives, and our goals always stick to strict plans? Often, it’s the unexpected turns—the willingness to adapt and respond in the moment—that lead to the most meaningful outcomes. Flexibility, combined with passion, turns any experience into something greater than the sum of its parts.
Applying Amore and Flexibility to Leadership
And this is what I took back with me. In our everyday grind, it’s all too easy to lose touch with that passion—going through the motions at work, “saving the day,” checking boxes but not really showing up. But when we approach our work with amore—whether that’s running a business, leading a team, or creating something new—the impact is tangible. Real enthusiasm doesn’t just show up in results; it spreads, inspiring those around us to bring their best selves to the table.
This idea fits perfectly with the Japanese concept of Ikigai (a concept I am deeply passionate about - no pun intended!) meaning "a reason for being." Your ikigai is the sweet spot where what you love, what you’re good at, what the world needs, and what you’re paid for all meet. It’s more than just passion; it’s a harmony of your values, talents, and purpose. Leaders who connect with their ikigai not only get things done but they also inspire, energize, and create something people want to be part of.
So whether you’re a CEO, a chef, or a delivery driver, finding your ikigai—that reason for being—and pouring amore into it can make all the difference. It transforms work from a mere task into a meaningful contribution, something that enriches both you and those around you. That’s the magic of showing up with love, with purpose, with amore.
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Hi! I'm Merve. 👋 I help corporate leaders and business owners build high-performing teams, grow their businesses, and advance their careers.
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