We’ve all been there—caught in that uncomfortable space between wanting to showcase our talents and not wanting to come off as arrogant.
Is it wrong to confidently state that you’re excellent at something?
Is it too bold to ask for a promotion or negotiate a raise because you know the immense value you bring to your organization?
Should you feel the need to hide the fact that you enjoy investing in luxury items like massages or high-end clothes because you’ve worked hard and can afford them?
Or, should you refrain from raising your hand in the boardroom to say, “I should lead that project because I’m the most qualified”?
Too often, we hold back from expressing our strengths, talents, or achievements out of fear of being seen as boastful. But the reality is, staying silent doesn’t benefit anyone—not your team, your organization, and certainly not yourself. When you downplay your capabilities, you miss the opportunity to contribute at your highest potential and to inspire others to do the same.
From the Yoga Mat to the Boardroom: The Art of Owning Your Talents
Let me take you to the yoga world for a moment. In yoga philosophy, there’s a concept called "Svadharma," which essentially means embracing and living your true purpose or talent. If you’re a skilled teacher, you’re meant to share your knowledge. If you’re an excellent communicator, you’re meant to speak up. If you’re hiding your gifts, you’re depriving others of the value you can bring.
One of my yoga teachers used to say, "If you have a voice, you must use it. Otherwise, it's like having a light and hiding it in a closet." And this resonates so much with leadership. As leaders, if we don’t own our strengths and speak up, we’re dimming our light and, quite frankly, not doing justice to the teams, organizations, or even the world that could benefit from our skills.
Think about it this way: Imagine you’re a plumber at a party, and a pipe suddenly bursts, flooding the room. Are you going to stand in the corner, humbly saying nothing because you don’t want to seem arrogant? Or are you going to step up and say, “I can fix this”? That’s not arrogance—it’s responsibility. And in leadership, it's exactly the same. If you have a strength, a solution, or a skill that could make things better, it’s your duty to bring it forward.
A Lesson from My Early Career: When Modesty Becomes a Barrier
Early in my career, I had one of those moments that has stayed with me. We were in a meeting with my manager, discussing the classic start-stop-continue exercise. At one point, I chimed in and said, “Oh, that's something we're really good at; we can do that, and everyone will benefit.” I was speaking on behalf of the team, confident in our abilities, ready to take action.
But my manager looked at me and said, “You should say, ‘if I may say so myself.’” Now, don’t get me wrong—I understand that the phrase is meant to soften the impact, to show humility. And sure, I’ve used it myself plenty of times. But what struck me was that it felt like I was being encouraged to shrink, to minimize the contribution, to make sure I wasn’t shining too brightly.
That moment taught me an important lesson: there’s a fine line between humility and self-deprecation. Modesty is a virtue, yes, but it shouldn’t become a shield that stops us from offering our talents. Especially in leadership, we have to find that balance between being humble and being confident.
Confidence and Executive Presence: Why Owning Your Talents Matters
This brings us to executive presence—one of the cornerstones of effective leadership. You can't cultivate executive presence without knowing your strengths and being willing to articulate them. Executive presence isn’t about being the loudest voice in the room; it’s about having the confidence to express your ideas, offer your talents, and step forward when you know you can make an impact.
And yes, there will always be that voice in the back of your head saying, “Who am I to say I’m good at this?” But let’s flip that on its head: Who are you not to say it? By stepping into your strengths, you give others permission to do the same. By being confident, you create a culture where people aren’t afraid to step up and offer their own talents.
I Am Remarkable: The Power of Owning Your Story
I had the chance to experience Google’s #IAmRemarkable training, and it was one of the most empowering experiences I’ve had. The training, which started as an internal initiative at Google, is now a global movement that helps women and underrepresented groups openly celebrate their achievements and challenge societal perceptions around self-promotion.
During the training, we were encouraged to say out loud what makes us remarkable, and let me tell you—it was a game-changer. I realized how often I had downplayed my strengths or brushed aside my accomplishments because I didn’t want to seem arrogant. But this training showed me that there’s real power in saying, “I am good at this, and here’s why.” It’s not about boasting; it’s about owning your journey, recognizing your achievements, and letting others know how you can contribute.
What’s Your Superpower?
So, let me ask you: What’s your superpower? What’s that one thing you’re exceptionally good at but maybe haven’t allowed yourself to fully own? I ask my clients this all the time, and it’s incredible how many of them struggle to articulate their strengths because they’ve been conditioned to stay in the background, masked by so-called 'modesty.'
But the truth is, there’s nothing wrong with being confident in what you do well. When you own your superpower, you not only lift yourself but also create a ripple effect that empowers those around you.
Wrapping It Up: Stop Hiding, Start Leading
Let’s put an end to the habit of hiding behind false modesty. Whether it’s sharing that you excel at a particular skill, asking for the promotion you deserve, or simply admitting that you love spending money on massages because it keeps you at your best—own it. The world doesn’t need more leaders who are afraid to step up. It needs leaders who are willing to say, “I’m good at this, and I’m here to help.”
Leadership Challenge
Ask yourself today: Where have I been hiding my talents? What skills am I downplaying out of fear of seeming arrogant? How can I step into my strengths and offer them more freely?
And if you’re ready to stop hiding behind the closet and start leading with confidence, my Momentum Leadership Mastery Program is designed to help you do exactly that. Let’s bring your unique strengths to the forefront—because that’s where they belong.
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Hi! I'm Merve. 👋 I help corporate leaders and business owners build high trust, high performance teams, grow their business impact, and advance their careers.
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