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Writer's pictureMerve Kagitci Hokamp

Why the “Perfect Day” Routine is Overrated (and What Actually Works)


Why the “Perfect Day” Routine is Overrated (and What Actually Works)

You’ve heard the hype. Wake up at 4 a.m., and you’ll float out of bed feeling like a feather, totally ready to conquer the world. Meditate—because of course, you’re so zen. Then a workout, a brisk walk for fresh air, maybe even a quick swim. Bliss.


Then, it’s deep work time. Your brain is at its peak, ideas flow like a fountain of brilliance. Just as you’re on a roll, the kids wake up, but don’t worry, you’re overflowing with love and energy. It’s all laughter and harmony as you glide into breakfast time.


Naturally, you don’t eat because you are on the intermittent fasting train. Taking control of your hAnger feels so empowering and detoxing feels so yum!


Once the kids have their hair perfectly braided, you leave the house and hop over to school, you kiss them goodbye, and then…off to work you go, radiating positivity.


Your office smells like fresh flowers, every meeting is productive, the boss high-fives everyone, you're just totally vibing, and lunch is a raw vegan feast with a refreshing green juice. Pure joy. 


You feel invincible, so efficient that you knock out tasks like a productivity machine. You return home to kids who’ve been picked up by the nanny, are giggling in the corner, and genuinely love broccoli, you don't even have to sell it to them. Dinner is a delight—everyone eats their vegetables, then, the kids put themselves to bed, and you settle down to watch a movie with your partner, holding hands, nibbling on raw hazelnuts. 


Then, off to bed you go, read a few pages of a delightful book before you drift off to sleep oh so effortlessly, ready to do it all over again tomorrow. 


Yoga, Meditating, Work-Life Balance, Perfect Routine Doesn't Exist, Flexibility

Perfect life, right?


Yeah.. well... except… it's a bunch of fluff... it doesn't exist.. 


Perfect Instagram Story vs The Reality


Look, I’m all for routines. But let’s be real—life isn’t a wellness Instagram story. We’ve all got jobs, responsibilities, kids who aren’t always cheerful, and mornings that start with hitting snooze instead of springing out of bed. Juggling a career, family, personal goals, and a healthy lifestyle isn’t effortless, and sometimes it’s downright messy.


I live a pretty healthy lifestyle, and yes, we have some great habits and systems that keep things on track for our family. But here’s the reality:


  1. I often wake up wishing I could sleep a little longer. That alarm doesn’t always bring a “fresh start” feeling, and sometimes it’s hard to shake the tiredness.


  2. I stay up too late finishing work. There are nights when I can’t shut my brain off because I’m obsessing over a project. 


  3. Some mornings, we’re in a total scramble. There are days when I’m hustling to get everyone out the door on time, and let’s be honest—perfect ponytails are not happening.


Life is chaotic, unpredictable, and sometimes downright exhausting. And that’s okay! We should be embracing the imperfections, not chasing some unattainable “perfect day” routine.


Embracing the 'Perfect' Mess & Making It Work


Travel with Kids, Humor

Here are some tried-and-true hacks that help me stay grounded in the reality of a busy, fulfilling (but far from perfect) life:


  1. Develop Good Habits: Habits are like autopilot. I start each day with a short, achievable routine that wakes me up (think coffee and a quick stretch, not a marathon). My partner and I keep certain habits non-negotiable, like how we alternate school drop-offs and pick-ups, kids' bedtime, etc. 


  2. Build Systems: Systems save time and energy. We have a shared calendar, a weekly meal plan, and a couple of “just for us” routines to keep everything on track. Are they foolproof? No, but they help minimize the chaos.


  3. Focus on What You Love: Not every day is bursting with inspiration, but I try to focus my work on what genuinely energizes me. When you’re doing work that matters to you, it’s easier to manage the tough days because the end goal feels worth it.


  4. Prioritize Time for Yourself: I’m a better leader, partner, and parent when I carve out time to recharge—even if that’s just 10 minutes with a book or a quick walk alone. Self-care doesn’t have to look like a spa day. Sometimes it’s just a moment of quiet.


  5. Be Flexible: Life is messy, and the key to surviving (and even thriving) is flexibility. If a day goes off the rails, I remind myself to adapt rather than cling to the “plan.” Plans change; it’s fine. You’ll get through it.


  6. Let Go of Perfection: Seriously, give yourself a break. Not every meal needs to be green juice and raw nuts. Sometimes, we order takeout, skip workouts, or push tasks to tomorrow. That doesn’t mean we’re failing; it just means we’re human.


  7. Don’t Underestimate Humor: Humor is one of the most underrated skills in life and leadership. A little humor can defuse tension, lift your spirits, and keep things in perspective. Laughing off the small stuff makes the big stuff easier to handle.


    Relaxing, Perfect Routine,

Final Thoughts on What 'Perfect' Means


The perfect routine? It doesn’t exist. Life is about balancing priorities, rolling with unpredictability, and finding joy in the little wins. Sure, you can get up at 4 a.m. if it works for you, but don’t feel like you have to live up to a hyper-optimized, magazine-ready version of life to feel successful or fulfilled.


Embrace the mess, keep a sense of humor, and build routines that support your real life—not some impossible ideal.


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Hi! I'm Merve. 👋 I help leaders build high performing teams, amplify their business impact, and advance their careers. 


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