We just got back from a three week holiday where the 4 of us (including a 5 year old and a 9 month old) took 4 flights, changed time zones 4 times with a total travel time of approximately 48 hours (33 hours in the air!). We fly with our small kids at least twice a year to see our families in the USA and Turkey, and we might also take additional flights for friends’ weddings, combined business and leisure adventures, and for other kinds of fun! Now don’t get me wrong, the flights themselves are not my idea of “fun” - but the end destinations and experiences make them worth it. Over years of travel, we have finetuned some of our moves and tactics, and as a result, we find travel has become more bearable and a tad more fun. I thought I might share some of these tips in my blog for those who are looking to optimize their journey and better their experience.
1. Book direct flights and minimize layovers: It’s hard enough for adults to get off an airplane to remember that you have to do the same drill all over again - security (in some cases), go to the gate, board, settle, take off, same announcements, etc. It is at least double as disappointing for the kids, especially when they’ve been looking forward to getting to wherever it is you are going. Are we there yet? It’s even worse if something unexpected happens - e.g. if there is a delay, if one of the flights are cancelled etc. The chances of the airlines losing your bags, needing to be rerouted / rebooked etc. are much higher if you are booked on multiple flights than just one. Having experienced a myriad of difficulties, (even when things went according to initial plan with no delays, lost baggage etc.) we now prefer to take longer flights or have a longer travel time in general rather than connect.
If you absolutely must connect, consider spending a day or two in your layover location, then taking another flight a couple of days later. You might complement a trip to your family's home with a stopover in a city where you have a friend you would love to see for a day or two. If that is a no go, make sure to choose a layover airport that is friendlier than others (e.g. check if the airport is pretty busy, check to see if flights are regularly delayed - google flights has this information - check to see if you have to go through security again, change terminals, clear customs / passport etc.) Try to minimize the hassle and reduce the risks by choosing a layover airport that makes connecting smoother. E.g. Amsterdam Airport is much better for European connections than Heathrow in London. Charles de Gaulle has horrendous passport lines and is quite unstructured. Frankfurt Airport has fully armed security officers who grope you and your kids including babies with stone faces which is not only time consuming but is also disturbing and unsettling for everyone involved. That said, thanks to German efficiency and discipline, the operational experience is much smoother (e.g. less lines, easier and more systematic boarding, flights mostly on time, transport within airport straightforward). We have also had pleasant experiences connecting in Istanbul especially for Middle Eastern and / or Asian destinations.
2. Try to book early morning or late evening flights: This strategy works for us not only for time maximization purposes (i.e. we do we not lose a whole day and night because of a mid-day flight) but also because kids are more likely to sleep if it’s early morning (they didn’t get quite enough sleep the night before because they had to wake up early to go to the airport) or it’s their bedtime so their circadian rhythm is telling them it’s time to snooze. Snoozy kids, happy parents!
3. Choose a kid-friendly airline: Some airlines are more kid-friendly than others. In my experience airlines in the US are the least kid-friendly, whereas European airlines are good enough, and Asian airlines tend to be quite child and family-friendly. On Turkish Airlines, for example, kids get their very own cute little pouch with slippers, an eye mask, socks, headphones, and a funny pilot hat. They also get another kit with toys and a special child-friendly meal (babies also get baby food - one less thing for you to carry) Lufthansa also hands out toys and a baby kit that includes some essentials like wipes, diaper cream, etc. Emirates, Singapore Airlines and Etihad hand out baby amenities on board including wipes, diapers, diaper rash cream, baby bottles, disposable bibs, and feeding bottles. For parents flying with Etihad who need to leave their seat, use the bathroom, or just want a break mid-flight, the airline offers a "flying nanny" service that's available in all cabins on its long-haul routes (The nannies are flight attendants who have received special training in childcare) Pretty cool!
4. Make use of your frequent flier perks or consider purchasing some perks in advance if you don’t have status with the airline: “Status” with the airline makes a huge difference when you are alone and is life-changing, I would argue, if you are traveling with kids. Thanks to our frequent trips and my credit card that lets me accumulate miles as I shop, I am a gold member of the Star Alliance and have a few other silver memberships with other airlines. You get advantages like fast track (so you don’t have to queue), business class check-in (again no long queues), priority boarding and priority bag check (so your bags come out first), lounge access where you get free food, drinks, wifi and comfortable seating (some lounges have specific children zones with toys, playgrounds, changing areas etc. too) You also have priority if something goes wrong e.g. if the flight is canceled and you need to be rebooked, if the flight is overbooked and someone needs to be upgraded to business class etc.
5. Pre-order food for the plane: With the exception of a few airlines that take pride in the food they serve (E.g. Turkish Airlines, Emirates, Singapore Airlines) food on flights suck, so you are better off choosing your meal beforehand. The selected meals are usually nicer, especially for kids, and you will receive your meal first. Especially if you are not seated in the front row and your kids are hungry (or you yourself are hungry) or seeing food being served and having to wait makes you or your kids hAngry, then bingo! You’ll get a nicer meal and you’ll be served first. Of course this is a no-brainer for those with special dietary requirements anyway. For certain USA airlines and European charter airlines, it also tends to be cheaper (because you’ll also have to pay for your food if you fly with them) to order online in advance.
6. Check-in online before the flight: No brainer. You’ll be able to choose a better seat (if you haven’t already selected them before), you get to skip the longer queues at check in (online check in line tends to be separate). You will also be safer this way i.e. if the plane is overbooked and someone needs to be bumped off, they go for people who have not already checked in. You can print your boarding pass before to avoid the hassle esp. if you are not checking bags (which if that is you and you have kids - bravo!) Plus, it generally only takes a few mins, so you might as well do it.
7. Talk to your kids about what to expect: Yes, healthy and respectful communication is key! Kids are smart and they, too, appreciate it when adults show respect to them by talking to them about what lays ahead. We generally tell our daughter (and our baby son too, though I am not sure he is following exactly!) that it is going to be a long day and we will be tired. We tell them we might be a little grumpy but we will do this together. We say things like, “Here are our asks, here is how we can make it fun etc.” We also tell our daughter what we need / would like from her e.g. patience, her help with certain things, etc.. She usually feels empowered when we talk to her like that and will say, “Hey, let me help you carry the bags, I’ll watch my brother when you guys get our stuff in the car etc.” Whether she actually does those things or not doesn’t matter as much as the attitude and the willingness to act as a team which changes the whole vibe of the trip and sets us up for success.
8. Don’t be shy to ask people for help: People generally will feel happy, useful, and accomplished for helping you! You are doing them a favor really! This includes boarding first, if they don’t let you do that already, and asking flight attendants to hold your baby while you get settled, to help you with putting your bags in the overhead bins. I thought I had strict principles (around fairness and equality!) and it was a taking advantage to ask to cut the line and would queue endlessly. Then, one time my daughter had a dirty diaper which made her extremely uncomfortable and fussy, and we had waited at the passport line for 20+ mins already. I was super embarrassed but managed to ask the security guy very apologetically, if we could use the priority lane when my daughter started scream crying - surely, he let us go with no hesitation through the priority+ lane that diplomats and pilots go through and he apologized for not having spotted us himself. He also told me we should always ask going forward which made me realize it makes sense to see if you could be given priority with a baby - people understand and sympathize. To them they are only losing a minute, if that but to you, it makes all the difference -- and you deserve it!
9. Take advantage of early boarding: Most airlines will call families with children to board first (or after first class / business). Even if you don’t get called, just ask the people in the queue, if you can go first. (see the previous recommendation) They will always let you and for good reason! Babies and children tend to have a good bit of stuff they are traveling with and you have your hands full. Best to go first and get settled.
10. Dress in layers, and bring extra clothes and lots of diapers: Temperature might change from the town to the outdoors, to the airport, to the airplane so be prepared by dressing your kids in layers. Also bring a few extra outfits both for yourself and your kids because sometimes on flights, accidents can happen and the digestive system can work in funny ways, so do bring lots of diapers too - more than you think you will need!
11. Consider using a smaller stroller or better yet, not bringing one! Half the time we brought strollers on flights, they did not make it to our final destination when we made it to our final destination. Couple of the times they were just gone - and it took me a year and many angry calls and messages to get compensated for it by the airlines in question (United was hands down the worst - I did in the end manage to get $1,500 for my $600 stroller. I paid for the new one I had already purchased and donated the rest. It was the principle of it that I was after, and not so much the money, and I felt I deserved at least that much after all the inconvenience and the labor I had to put into getting what I was entitled to. It does pay to read the fine print by the way, they won’t tell you you are entitled to compensation) Other times they arrived with a different flight the same day or the next day, and more commonly they arrived a few days later. We are lucky to have access to strollers in places we frequently visit - either we have family there and keep extra strollers because we visit often or we get hand me downs from friends we go to see, so we try not to bring strollers (same goes for car seats) to avoid the hassle. Carriers are handy to use at the airport anyway, plus a lot of the European and Asian airports have buggies you can borrow now. (Some examples are Helsinki, Istanbul, Singapore, Doha) If you do bring a stroller, try to bring a collapsible small one and do not check your stroller through, if connecting (they usually get lost during the layover). Ask the flight attendants who are checking you in, to make sure you can pick it up at the connecting airport, then check it again right before boarding the second plane.
12. Bring your baby carrier / wrap not only for ease at the airport but also on the flight - the baby may sleep in the carrier (our babies were good at sleeping in our carriers especially if we were standing - i know some aren’t, so you will know your baby’s habits best) Also for flights with US airlines, they are good because they don't give the baby a seatbelt, so you can keep them in the carrier / wrap attached to you during take off and landing.
13. Get ready for security. I try to avoid shoes with laces, boots, belts etc. because you have to take them off at security. It’s just yet another thing to unpack, repack etc. and you may forget them, you may need to go through security again or be patted down if you beep, etc. It’s just a mess and not worth it to me. Also I pack my liquids / baby food in ziplock bags before and put them somewhere easy to pop in and pop out. Similarly for my electronics - they are all in the same pocket. There are now 3D machines that you can go through that don’t require you to take out your liquids, electronics etc. which is amazing, so I always look for / ask for those machines where available. (They are available in most big airports especially in USA) If using a stroller, ask the security people to pat check it when baby is sitting in it (they have to oblige though it’s a hassle for them sometimes so they might not like it) that way you don't have to take the baby out, fold the stroller, lift it up, place it on the security conveyor belt, and do the reverse on the other side.
14. Prepare for air pressure: It is hard for kids and especially babies to balance their ear pressure and pop their ears especially during take off and landing. Bring pacifiers / bottles / sippy cups and your breasts (!) so they can suck on something during take off and landing. For older kids, you might get them to drink some water or have a snack during takeoff and landing, unless you know it’s not an issue for them (we stopped doing this for my 5 year old because we know she is ok at this point) You might also bring a nose spray in case your baby gets clogged up and baby painkillers (you are allowed to bring a 100ml+ bottle for under 2s and you can use an flight-approved bottle size / pour it into a smaller bottle for older kids) in case their ears are in pain.
15. Get a bassinet seat: I don’t prefer to pay for or use my miles towards business class when I am with my kids because to me the advantage of business class is to be able to have more space to sleep / recline etc. Especially since I have a gold membership (and always do my best to choose airlines that are part of Star Alliance so I can use my perks while also gaining more miles to keep my status) I get all of the other perks (that are hugely valuable) through my status. And when I am with my kids, I don’t really recline into a full bed and get a good night’s sleep anyway, so we tend to splurge on other things including paying to reserve a premium economy / front seat and ideally a bassinet row. Having a bassinet for the baby on a transatlantic flight is a game-changer. Not only do they sleep more comfortably because they have their own space but also you are more comfortable and free (of holding a baby) and you don’t run the risk of a thoughtless person reclining onto you and your baby on lap (with a tray full of food sometimes) Some airlines will have the front row / bassinet seats blocked online (for very important people including YOU - a parent with a little one) so it looks like those seats are already taken. Therefore, my recommendation is to always call the airline (even though you may be put on hold and yes, it’s annoying) and ask about the front bassinet seats. The call center agents will be able to see if they have in fact been reserved by other passengers on flights or they were just blocked (for e.g. in case some minister’s family shows up at the last minute and needs seats) and be able to remove the block. Some airlines even let you book them without an additional fee e.g. Lufthansa (you do have to call!)
16. Bring activities and snacks but pack light!: I remember my first flight with my first baby. She was 3 months old and I was with a friend who was amazingly helpful (I will be eternally grateful to him for that!). I think I had 6 giant carry-ons - mostly packed with her stuff. I brought a nursing pillow which in fairness was comfortable not only for me to nurse but also for her to lay and sleep on, I brought a whole giant bag of baby toys, etc. etc. Now I still bring entertainment, the essentials and a few “just in case” bits but try to optimize for space and comfort. For example, if you want access to a nursing pillow, you might opt in for an airplane pillow instead, you can nurse and lay the baby on it but it also doubles as a neck pillow, can be hooked to your backpack strap and is much smaller than a nursing pillow. As for toys, we now bring one or two. The baby will be interested in an empty juice box, a bottle, a plastic bag just the same, so we make use of what we have. For our 5 year old, we bring small toys and activities - she especially loves coloring. We switched to letting her color and draw on our ipad and/or her digital drawing pad. That way it’s lighter (you don’t have to carry the crayons and notebooks and such) and it’s less messy (crayons and paper will fall into the cracks of the seat, etc.)
I also try to pack our checked bags light though I am still not very good at it. I use Packpoint but there are many other apps out there that help you remember all the essentials and try to pack systematically yet lightly.
17. Beware of the bugs but don’t overthink it: Lots of international germ traffic at airports. Bring disinfectant gel and wipes. Try to avoid overcrowded areas but also don’t overstress about it, it will ruin the whole experience and it generally won’t help. You might also consider giving your baby mittens while at the airport. If you can manage, it is always a good idea to get your kids to wear a mask. Our daughter was amazing at it when we had to fly a few times during the height of the pandemic but protested it later when she saw more and more people opting out and we didn’t push it, so now it’s too late. Part of me still wishes we had kept it as a rule - she did get sick after the last few flights we took.
18. Focus on and talk about the positive: With our kids, we try to talk, smile and get excited about what we will get to do during the trip as well as thanks to the trip. My daughter loves seeing her grandparents and her cousins so we make sure to talk a lot about how exciting it is that we get to visit our families and how much play time she will get once there. While on the flight, she loves the surprise toys from the airline (when she gets them), the little flight kits and most of all, she loves having more screen time than usual (yes, we let her binge cartoons more liberally on flights than the stricter limits we have at home). Whenever there is a positive thing that happens (e.g. if flight attendants love her dress and complement her for it or recently, Turkish Airlines served pancakes for breakfast which is her absolute favorite thing to eat) we always make a big deal out of it, so she (and us!) are more positive about the experience. Being a hater doesn’t really help so we try to make the best of it and enjoy the experience as much as possible.
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