Last week, I engaged in separate, insightful conversations with three accomplished female leaders during coaching sessions. Despite their distinct roles, backgrounds, and experiences, a common thread emerged – the intricate balance between being a successful senior-level career woman and a devoted mother.
This revelation prompted me to pause, reflect, and recognize the shared challenges that many working mothers are confronted with in their careers. It's not a novel or shocking revelation, unfortunately, but the fact that these three remarkable leaders, each with her unique journey, voiced similar concerns that trigger anxiety, piqued my interest. I felt compelled to explore and share these insights in this week's blog post.
One senior tech executive, who works at a company that prides itself in its DEI policies, just returned to work after maternity leave. She shared her acceptance of the 'truth' that achieving a top-tier performance rating after maternity leave is not possible and acknowledged the need for balance. She said she was thankful that she was not replaced when she was on maternity leave, and she could take her team back upon return.
A senior legal counsel shared her apprehension about a promotion which would take her to management level. She felt that added responsibilities and the expectation to work more hours would encroach on her family life and leave her with less flexibility which was a crucial priority. She said she would need to set an example for her team if she started managing people (even though she would like that as a career path in principle) but how can she set an example for her team if she isn't working overtime all the time?
An accomplished business owner expressed her desire to have children before she turned 40 next year but asserted that she cannot see how she can continue her business and be present for her kids so she felt she needed to look for a new set-up - maybe give up one or the other.
These narratives pose complex questions:
🤔 Are these women self-limiting?
🤔 Are they influenced by societal expectations?
🤔 Can a high-level job coexist with being a present, dedicated mother?
🤔 What is holding these women back?
According to McKinsey's "Women in the Workplace" report in collaboration with LeanIn.Org, women occupy various positions in the workforce:
23% of executives
29% of senior management
37% of managers
42% of professional roles
47% of support staff positions are held by women.
As the data suggests, as you ascend the corporate ladder, the percentage of women dwindles, a phenomenon also referred to as the "great breakup."
So, what are the factors that contribute to this attrition of women from higher positions?
EXTERNAL FACTORS: The Challenge of Career Advancement
👉 Gender Bias: Despite substantial progress, gender disparities persist in various industries. Intriguingly, this bias doesn't solely emanate from men; it sometimes involves women undervaluing and exhibiting bias against their female peers.
👉 Flexibility Gaps: Many workplaces still adhere to rigid schedules that fail to accommodate the unique demands of motherhood. This scenario often forces a delicate balancing act between family and professional obligations. It's worth noting that even tech companies, known for their flexibility and results-oriented culture, occasionally resort to micromanagement, monitoring employee attendance through badges, and potentially penalizing those who don't conform to extended office hours.
👉 Maternity Leave Stigma: Taking maternity leave can sometimes lead to an unjust perception of lower commitment to one's career, affecting opportunities for promotions. It's essential to acknowledge that a mother's career briefly pauses during maternity leave, but this shouldn't result in accepting lower performance ratings upon return.
👉 Lack of Support for Advancement: According to the McKinsey study, only 60 percent of women feel they receive helpful feedback from their managers. A mere 40 percent believe their managers demonstrate an interest in their career, and only 50 percent report receiving support for getting credit for their accomplishments or working in environments that promote respectful behavior.
INTERNAL FACTORS: Overcoming Self-Imposed Obstacles
👉 Impostor Syndrome: Mothers, like most women, occasionally grapple with impostor syndrome, doubting their abilities and worthiness for promotions and new opportunities. They often fear that their inability to engage in overtime work, as frequently or at all compared to their peers, may render them less effective.
🙃 Flip that 🙃
However, from personal experience, motherhood taught me how to be more efficient and productive at work. I learned to prioritize ruthlessly, simplifying tasks, and often achieving superior results. By asserting myself, emphasizing my value, and making flexible choices in delivering assignments, I demonstrated that success is measured not by the hours spent working but by the outcomes achieved.
👉 Guilt Complex: Balancing the demands of work and family can evoke feelings of guilt, causing mothers to question their commitment to both roles.
🙃 Flip that 🙃
I have to be honest -- mother's guilt is a constant gremlin that lurks in my head. But hang on; a happy equilibrium exists where, with childcare support where possible and flexible work arrangements where needed, mothers can actually set themselves up for more success. This way, we can excel at work, feel fulfilled, and not resent our kids for hindering our career progression. We can also be present with our children when we allocate time for them and genuinely engage, play, listen, and create without resenting.
👉 Confidence Deficit: A lack of self-confidence can deter women from advocating for themselves, negotiating salaries, and expressing ambitions for career growth.
🙃 Flip that 🙃
Now, listen to this and prepare to be mind-blown! Instead of seeking to inflate confidence artificially, why not consider leveraging the inherent superpower of motherhood to boost confidence? A friend told me once that she became a better salesperson after she had two kids, because selling vegetables to your kids, yeah, not an easy endeavor! You gotta use all of those influencing tactics, negotiation skills, and marketing chops. That is... with the experience of managing the most demanding job – motherhood – why not channel that resilience and strength into career aspirations? Hell yeah...
Who doesn't love a nice list of "must-haves" and "must-dos," right?
Well, here is a powerful lineup of strategies to not only conquer management and leadership at work but also be a superstar mom at home:
Set Career Goals: Clearly define career goals and create a roadmap for achieving them. Break these goals into manageable steps and celebrate achievements along the way.
Building Confidence: Recognizing one's worth and capabilities is essential. Seek mentorship and join professional networks to boost self-confidence.
Effective Communication: Open dialogs with employers and colleagues can set realistic expectations and address potential biases.
Flexibility at Work: Negotiate for flexible work arrangements, remote work options, or shared job responsibilities to better accommodate family life.
Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries that allow you to balance work and family life effectively.
Highlight Your Impact: Showcase the impact of your work through measurable results and contributions.
Play to Your Strengths: Leverage your unique strengths and abilities to excel in both your managerial role and as a mother.
Seek Support Networks: Surround yourself with people who understand your journey, whether other working mothers, family, or friends. Their support is invaluable.
Take Care of Yourself: Prioritize self-care routines and well-being practices to recharge and maintain resilience in your dual roles.
In conclusion...
The journey for women in leadership is filled with both external and internal challenges, for sure! However, with determination, resilience, and the right support networks, women can excel in their careers while embracing the joys of motherhood. Progression is not merely an aspiration; it's an attainable reality. It's about breaking barriers, redefining the norms, and claiming the success every woman deserves. 🌟
#WorkingMothers #WomenInLeadership #CareerProgress #LeadershipCoaching #EmpoweredWomen #InspiredByWomen #SuperMoms #CareerAndFamily
P.S. Whether you're an aspiring manager, a new manager, a seasoned executive, or a business owner, if you're looking to navigate your career and family aspirations, I offer customized programs and one-on-one coaching sessions tailored to your specific requirements on your leadership journey. Don't hesitate to get in touch for a FREE strategy call, and let's discuss how I can assist you in achieving success in both your career and family life! 👊