I am writing these lines from a lovely spot in Copenhagen - 20G Cafe, where I paused to take a little break, enjoy a delicious breakfast, and take in the ambiance (and was inspired to start writing this article!) My cousin and I met up in Copenhagen for a long weekend. It had been a long time since I last had spent a few days away from my family and daily routine. Among other things, this trip reminded me of and gave me perspective on what life can look like without a strict daily structure I usually feel is needed given my responsibilities and passions. Like many people I know, I have a constant go-go-go life which starts with waking up early in the morning, making breakfast for the kids, school run, and then the "fit as much as possible in a day competition" begins --- between work, childcare, my workout routine, hobbies, time I spend with my family and friends -- and even time I spend with my husband -- pretty much everything is pre-planned, time-boxed, calendered, and routined. It’s not uncommon that I think about reaching for a glass of water, getting a bite to eat, or even using the restroom as something I will give myself permission to do at a given point in time. I generally tell myself "OK, this is a good time to use the bathroom for a couple of minutes, I can fill up my water bottle on the way back, then I will work on that project for two hours until it’s time to go collect my kids from their playdate, etc.’" I look for ways to do multiple things at once. I will pop in a load of laundry, go for a long stroll with my baby, and listen to a book related to research I am doing for my work. That way I get the laundry done, do an activity my child enjoys, work, get a work-out and also learn – which I genuinely enjoy doing – all within an hour frame. While I generally feel like I accomplish quite a lot during any given day, I always feel like I could do more - that there is more on the to-do-list I could check off, but there just aren’t enough hours in a day. Albeit rarely, if I end up spending time on something "unproductive" like binging a show or looking at my phone, or sometimes even "just" walking (as opposed to walking AND taking care of an errand, a chore, or walking WHILE listening to something educational, etc) I feel a sense of guilt.
My few days in Copenhagen with my cousin without a clear agenda, long days of walking and talking, stumbling into and checking cafes and restaurants we liked randomly and nonchalantly, not realizing what time it is at any given point in time, not attributing a specific time limit on certain activities, having a general direction of our walking route and a final destination (i.e. a tourist attraction) but no limits or plans on pit stops and adjusted routes gave me a sense of freedom I had forgotten about. It was just the hit pause break I needed to reset, recharge, and let loose a little. It was also a "think" break - I kept coming up with new ideas for businesses, new themes for my research and my blog, thought-provoking discoveries about certain things about my life and work.
A senior business leader I know who has a go-go-go lifestyle for 90% of his days takes 4-5 days every year to go wilderness camping with a close friend and a fellow nature-lover with no cell phone service, etc. He reports to coming back rejoiced and with lots of fresh ideas he, then, implements during the rest of the year. Bill Gates is known for his solo "think weeks" every year in a cabin in the woods by himself, reading, studying, and pondering. Reportedly, Internet Explorer was launched after the studying and working he did during a Think Week in 1995. Makes you wonder: What is happening while we take a break from the go-go-go and the "hard work" we otherwise put into maintaining our lives?
Hard work is one of my parents’ most-valued attributes I have proudly inherited. I’ve had a hardworking and structure-loving personality since childhood and thrived in routines. That said, I also used to get bored quite often as a kid (of course we didn’t have smart phones then either!) I used to complain to my parents that I am bored and they often told me “If you are bored, you should go find an activity.” After a bit of uffing and puffing, I would call up friends, read books, look through old closets for material for arts and crafts projects. Some of my most creative thoughts, dreams, my Eureka moments, my habit of and love for journaling and writing, my do-it-yourself projects, came during these blocks of unstructured, formless time. Chatting to my cousin and brainstorming for this article, I tried to figure out why I feel like always being busy with work, responsibilities, chores, fun and nourishing activities is more rewarding than being bored and idle. I found the answer in what is called the "productivity anxiety" and the concept of the "busyness trap".
Productivity Anxiety
Researchers have called the focus on getting as much done as possible and sometimes even setting unrealistic goals or schedules and feeling guilty for not having done some of the tasks on the to-do, could-have-done, and should-have-done lists "productivity anxiety."
Productivity anxiety leads to "completion bias" where your brain starts to favor finishing small tasks over working on larger, more complex (and often more meaningful and more rewarding) tasks. According to the HBR article titled ‘Your desire to get things done can undermine your effectiveness’ "Completing simple tasks, such as answering emails or posting updates on your Twitter account, takes little time and allows you to check off items on your to-do list... Checking off items is psychologically rewarding: After you complete a task, being able to literally check a box makes you happier than when you are not given a box to check...The danger, of course, is devoting too much time to the mundane and too little to important projects."
The need to be always busy is associated with what is called the "busyness paradox" or "busyness trap". According to Brigid Schulte, the author of "Overwhelmed: Work, Love and Play When No One Has the Time", ‘When we’re busy and have that high-octane, panicked feeling that time is scarce — what one participant called the “sustained moment of hecticness” through the work day — our attention and ability to focus narrows. Behavioral researchers call this phenomenon “tunneling.” And, like being in a tunnel, we’re only able to concentrate on the most immediate, and often low value, tasks right in front of us. (Research has found we actually lose about 13 IQ points in this state.)’ In other words, we are trapped in the state of busyness and cannot produce high quality results. The paradox, therefore, works this way: if we have ambition, we strive to do great work and be recognized for our talent and work. We are, therefore, in high demand (i.e. busy) However, the more busy (and therefore, time-strapped) we are, the tougher it becomes to produce the same quality of work or creative thinking that got us where we are in the first place. The irony!
It turns out productivity anxiety can also breed a "fear of boredom", and we end up being deprived of the proven benefits of boredom or idleness, from boosting creativity to (perhaps ironically) driving productivity and strengtheness self-awareness. A 2018 study found that people who had completed a boring task (sorting a bowl of beans by color, one by one) later performed better on an idea-generating task than their peers who had first completed an interesting craft activity. In a well-known experiment, psychologists Karen Gasper and Brianna Middlewood wanted to test this theory and find out if people who experienced boredom were more creative. They asked volunteers to watch video clips that evoked certain feelings, like boredom, relaxation, or elation, before testing their ability to think of different vocabulary words. They found that, when asked to think of vehicles, the participants who were relaxed or elated most often said "car." But the bored participants tended to come up with more creative words (even going as far as responding with "camel").
Thanks to my weekend getaway coupled with my reminiscence of my childhood moments of creativity and innovation fueled by moments of idleness and boredom, I decided to incorporate these 3 simple things into my life:
Allocate get-away time, ideally for a few days every year without immediate family and kids.
Schedule 10-15 minutes between my meetings and responsibilities to take a pause before switching to the next thing and do something unplanned (might stumble into someone in the kitchen, might take a quick walk around the block, might close my eyes and meditate)
Have blocks of free time in my calendar to get bored and indulge in something unplanned, unexpected or spontaneous. If given the amount of should-do's, could-do's, and want-to-do's exceed the amount of hours and don't allow for additional time in calendar, question and challenge the lists.
If, like me, you also find that you might get caught up in the busyness trap and productivity anxiety sometimes and want to share your thoughts, comments, tips with me, connect with me at leadrisecoaching@gmail.com