Embarking on a week-long vacation in southern Turkey was a much-needed escape for our family. As parents of young children, we recognized the occasional allure of convenience and relaxation outweighing our thirst for constant exploration. This recognition led us to choose an all-inclusive hotel stay—a departure from our customary search for adventure. In the end, this holiday became an experimental quest to strike the right balance between resetting ourselves and tending to the needs of our little ones, producing insights beyond our expectations. Since our return, conversations with friends and acquaintances who also navigate vacations with young children have made us think of optimization strategies to transform holiday moments from child care duty into more of a leisure experience.
I am a businessperson, a project manager, and consultant by training so I made an analysis of all data points, conducted some market research among friends and put together a one pager for managing the vacationing with kids project with ease! In the spirit of sharing wisdom gained, I wanted to write about my experience, research, and insights this week. I hope these hacks, enriched further by our connections, could be valuable tools for those traversing similar life stages and seeking a balanced family holiday.
Adjusting Expectations: A New Perspective
Our vacation preferences of the past involved constant motion—exploring new places, savoring diverse cuisines, embarking on adventurous nature hikes, and immersing ourselves in the richness of new cultures. However, since we had kids, our focus has had to shift substantially. As we transitioned into the rhythm of an all-inclusive resort, we found ourselves recalibrating our outlook to align with the unique standards of our surroundings and our family set-up.This meant that a stolen moment with a book under the sun and a refreshing plunge into the sea held the highest value, replacing the usual fervor of our explorations. We decided our aspiration this time around was simple: to relish downtime, bask on the beach, allocate some time to read a book and replenish our spirits while ensuring our children enjoyed themselves.
Navigating Initial Challenges and Gaining Perspective
Our initial days in this new environment presented their own set of challenges. Settling into the cadence of an all-inclusive resort involved adapting to the orchestrated routine of the hotel, overcoming initial hurdles, and resetting our expectations. The learning curve was softened, thanks to the helpful guidance of the hotel staff and our ability to embrace a flexible mindset. In the midst of these adjustments, an incident that initially seemed like a hiccup brought forth unexpected humor. After the initial night in our assigned room, we decided to ask to change our room as it was not aligned with what the hotel had advertised and what we had paid for - this episode (slightly embaressingly) reminded me of scenes from HBO's "The White Lotus" (Season 1)—though far less dramatic! Thankfully, our decision to change rooms, despite the temporary inconvenience, turned out to be a blessing in disguise and I am so glad we found the energy and courage to switch to a smaller yet more suitable room. The move not only ensured comfort for our family but also created space for my husband's work requirements, afforded a serene balcony retreat for the adults, and offered cozy beds to cap off our days, and as such ensured that we could avoid discomfort and grumpiness.
Privilege and Introspection: Insights Gained and Mindset Shift
As my thoughts wove through reflections of the show, I delved into contemplations about the notions of privilege and expectations woven into the fabric of holiday experiences. While our vacation didn't mirror the extravagant escapades of these television characters, it did prompt me to scrutinize my own sense of entitlement. This introspection brought the concept of privilege into sharper focus as I compared our holiday aspirations with the practicalities of reality. The depiction of characters navigating luxury resorts and intricate power dynamics on screen initiated a profound journey of self-discovery regarding my own travel ambitions. Our conclusion was straightforward: You have to accept that you cannot have it all and focus on making the best of what you do have. Our kids really helped with the execution of this very simple strategy - kids have a way of seeing the positive in every situation. Our daughter was full of joy when she saw the water slides and didn't mind the long queues at the dining hall which taught us to focus on the good (and more important) stuff and enjoy our vacation, as opposed to putting so much pressure on ourselves and the holiday experience to have everything perfect for our one week away, to then counterproductively end up being dissappointed and agitated.
10 Hacks for Project Managing a Stress-Free Family Vacation: Our Ultimate Guide
With all that said, here are the tips that we jotted down for next year's vacation - as mentioned, some learned through experience, others stolen from friends' vacay with kiddos playbooks:
1. Choose the Right Destination: Prioritize family-friendly destinations offering a variety of activities suitable for all ages. Think beach resorts, theme parks, and interactive museums that cater to the interests of both adults and children. All inclusive resorts that have the entertainment, the pools, beach, food all in one place make it very convenient! Our hotel this year was great in this regard because it was an all inclusive resort that you didn't have to leave but if you did want to leave it, you could just walk out and be in the center of the vibrant town of Turgutreis. We stepped out once for a nice walk on the promenade, some shopping, and a great seafood dinner. We also drove to Bodrum Center for some shopping and a stroll, which satisfied our need of variety and adventure.
2. Align Expectations: Effective communication is key. Treat your vacation like a project and have a pre-vacation meeting (this could be a casual one in the car or on the plane or before the trip starts). Establish shared goals and priorities as well as your individual expectations (and deal breakers, if you have them) with your partner and children before the trip. This ensures everyone's needs and desires are considered, setting the stage for a harmonious vacation.
3. Let Go of Strict Schedules: Loosening rigid schedules for kids bed times, nap times, meal times, etc. can significantly enhance the vacation experience. Adjusting bedtimes and wake-up times allows your family to participate in evening activities, like live music and after-dinner shows, and ensures the day can be better structured and less divided up. For us, we moved our son from two shorter naps to one longer mid-day nap to make sure we have longer blocks of time on either side of the day. During the mid-day nap, one parent would go to the room with him while he slept for 2 hours and the parent would have time to read / work / relax / nap, etc. during his nap. The other parent enjoyed beach / pool time with our daughter We alternated days. Our daughter loved the mini disco at 8:45pm every day followed by live pool side entertainment, and as such went to bed much later than usual. Our son went to bed earlier than our daughter around 8:30PM but later than his usual time of 7PM which meant that one parent could have some time while staying with him while he slept to read and relax, and the other parent partied with our daughter. This also meant that we got to sleep in a little in the morning as the kids woke up later.
4. Travel with Friends: If feasible, plan your vacation with another family or multiple families. This fosters a sense of community, provides playmates for kids, provides alternating tag team possibilities for shared childcare, as well as eases the burden of packing essentials by sharing resources and responsibilities. We didn't do this this year but did enjoy meeting other families with kids similar ages. While our daughter played with their kids, we got to chat with the adults. This was especially fun in the evenings when one parent would go to the room with our son and the other parent could socialize. We hope to plan ahead and take vacations with our friends with similar family structures going forward! (do let me know if you are a friend reading this and are interested in vacationing with us :)
5. Pack Smart: Efficient and strategic packing can make a significant difference in the smoothness of your family vacation. Consider each family member's requirements, from clothing to personal items, and organize them in a way that minimizes stress and maximizes convenience. To illustrate, when we packed for our last vacation, I created individual packing lists for each family member on Packpoint which is the app that I use for packing. For our son, we ensured we had enough diapers, wipes, and his favorite bedtime stories to maintain his comfort away from home. Additionally, we packed essential medicines and a basic first aid kit to address any minor injuries or illnesses that might arise during our trip.
6. Bring Multiples of Key Items and Lots of Downtime Activities: Avoid last-minute purchases at pricey gift shops by packing extra hats, sunscreen, and beach toys. Keep your kids entertained with activity books, crayons, books, and small toys during downtimes, as well as the trip over to the vacation resort. We don't like to give our kids tablets to watch just yet so we had lots of car toys and games for our daughter for our 8 hour carride. We also sang songs, played car games, and had long chats during the ride, which made it more fun!
7. Allocate "Me" Time: Strike a balance between family time and personal relaxation. Set an agreement with your partner for each to have their "me" time—be it a beachside stroll or an uninterrupted moment with a book. One myself and my husband agreed a schedule, everything seemed more feasible and relaxed. We knew we each would get time to ourselves, time with each other (albeit short) and time with kids and as a family of four.
8. Make Use of Kids' Clubs: Kids' clubs are your secret weapon for much-needed relaxation. While your kids enjoy supervised activities, you can unwind, knowing they're in safe hands. They also make friends during the kids club hours that they can hang out with during non kids club hours which means they have playmates and you can be off the hook for playing tickle monster chase in the pool for the 100th time. (not that it's not fun or anything, but it can get old!) I cannot wait till my son is old enough to go to Kids Clubs too - it will be a game changer when both our kids can attend kids club for a few hours during the day.
9. Prop up for Water Play: Whether you're beside the ocean or lounging by the pool, water-based activities can be the highlight of your family vacation. To maximize this experience, consider engaging in a variety of water play options that cater to all age groups. For instance, you can initiate friendly sandcastle building competitions with your children, bringing out their creativity while enjoying quality time together on the beach. These competitions tend to draw other kids too so you can ensure your kids make friends and find play buddies, so you can sit back and relax at some point. Our family particularly enjoyed organizing a treasure hunt in the pool, encouraging our kids to retrieve objects from the water's depths and surface (for our baby). Another enjoyable idea we stole from friends and hope to try out when our baby son is a bit older is to engage in family-friendly water sports such as paddleboarding or kayaking, offering a shared adventure that fosters teamwork and laughter. We brought some water toys, and bought others such as floaties, balls, etc. that helped us take the fun to the next level.
10. Practice Patience and Flexibility: While not at all easy, this is probably the most important thing to practice during a family holiday. Unforeseen challenges are part of the journey. Cultivate patience and adaptability to tackle hiccups with a positive attitude, creating cherished memories even amidst the bumps.
Connect with me at leadrisecoaching@gmail.com if you have any questions / comments / experiences you would like to share on vacationing with kids and the project management thereof!
#VacationWithKids #FamilyHolidays #TravelHacks #WorkHardPlayHard #FamilyVacation #BalancingAct #QualityTime
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