Picture this:
You're eager to learn, but feel like you're hitting a wall.
Growth? Yes, please—but oh, the dread of starting from scratch.
And the embarrassment? Ugh. 😬
Everyone around you is acing it, and there you are, trying not to look like you’re floundering.
Learning a new language?
"No gracias," says your pride, especially when every "Ich liebe dich" starts as "Ich liebe... dirrr...chh? Dichh? Ah, got it. Ich liebe.. dich..!" But by then, you're pretty sure you sounded like a toddler.
Wait.. But, love can't afford akusativ or dativ.. Awkward much?
Refusing to ski because "it's just not your thing" (truth: you can't ski to save your life 🎿), yet boasting about your aquatic prowess when summer hits inviting all your friends to a summer holiday (swimming, oh we can do swimming!) —does this ring a bell?
Welcome to the Adults club (boooriiinggg)— where 'learning resistance' is a thing!
Oh.. and the fear.. and the anxiety... and yes, also the embarrassment... how about stepping outside of that comfort zone...
Yeah, ok, that's the Adults club..
(boooriiinggg)
But here's a little secret: We are missing out on the FUN part.
Kids get it.🎢📚
They're the first in line for the fun-fair, no questions asked, diving in headfirst.
In this blog post, inspired by the fearless resilience of my little ones and the journeys of my coachees, I tackle how we can conquer that pesky learning resistance and turning the 'rollercoaster' into the ride of our lives. Because if we are not riding the waves of growth, are we even living? 🏄♂️
The Invisible Barrier: Recognizing Resistance
I coach career professionals from diverse arenas, whether they're seasoned executives in a phase of introspection and redirection, aspiring managers eager to climb the ladder, new supervisors balancing an array of responsibilities, or business owners steering their business through tumultuous challenges. Despite their varied backgrounds and stages in their leadership paths, they all encounter reluctance and resistance when it comes to acquiring new skills and breaking old habits. Feelings of embarrassment, inadequacy, and the fear of losing face can loom large.
You might recognize the situation: you know that a new skill could catapult your career to the next level, but something's holding you back. Despite being aware of the steps you need to take, there's a reluctance to proceed. It's this internal resistance, a form of psychological self-sabotage. It's the silent thief of potential, a force that if left unchecked, stifles personal and professional growth.
This resistance isn't just nerves; it's an entrenched psychological barrier that can manifest as a nagging doubt when you're about to tackle a complex problem or learn a new concept. And the thing is... It's not uncommon; even the most brilliant minds encounter it. Understanding and overcoming this resistance is crucial. It's a difference-maker, a revelation that could redefine your approach to learning.
I am lucky to be a parent of two exuberant young children in that I can observe them in action as they learn key life skills. My son, with his relentless efforts to walk and talk, doesn’t shy away from his many falls. He’s undeterred by the babbles that form no words we recognize, continuing to experiment with sounds and pitch, learning the intricacies of language in his unique babble-speak. And my daughter, she will gleefully invent a song and perform it with the utmost confidence. Her rendition of an Irish dance, peppered with stumbles and missteps, is pursued with joy rather than dread, teaching anyone willing to learn with the same light-hearted enthusiasm. There’s a lesson in their approach—an unfiltered resilience that we, as adults, seem to have lost along the way.
Why then, do adults dread the learning curve?
Can we reignite the unabashed resilience of our younger selves to transform learning into an adventure filled with curiosity and delight?
We often associate the awkwardness of being a novice with incompetence. In reality, initial clumsiness is a necessary part of the journey towards mastery. It's not about enduring a series of failures but accepting the messy, nonlinear process of learning. It requires embracing the uncomfortable questions and the slow, often frustrating progression of skill acquisition.
The Learning Curve versus the Learning Rollercoaster
While traditionally the learning curve is drawn as a straight upward curve, like this:
In reality, it looks more like a rollercoaster, like this:
Learning's trajectory isn't a straightforward incline.
It’s an emotional and cognitive rollercoaster brimming with excitement, followed by bouts of discouragement, periods of tenacity, and moments of clarity and triumph.
Let’s explore these phases:
1️⃣ The Initial Excitement: Recall the exhilaration of your first solo drive. This phase is buoyed by unbridled hope.
2️⃣ The Crushing Disappointment: Then comes the phase where realities, like tricky maneuvers or difficult conversations in leadership, set in, often causing self-doubt.
3️⃣ The Zigzag of Progress: Like a toddler’s journey from crawling to taking those first unsure steps, there are small victories punctuated by setbacks.
4️⃣ The Eureka Moment: The delightful instant when things finally fall into place, similar to a child constructing their first full sentence.
5️⃣ The Road to Mastery: This is where skill becomes second nature. Just as experienced drivers navigate roads with an innate sense, mastery allows for intuitive application.
The Marvel of Neuroplasticity: Your Brain's Unending Adaptability
Our brains are equipped for this dance. Research on neuroplasticity tells us our brains never lose their ability to adapt and rewire. Each new skill we learn forges new neural pathways, and with repetition, these pathways become more robust, making the skill second nature.
When we embark on learning anything new, such as leadership strategies or a musical instrument, our brains begin the intricate task of creating fresh neural pathways. Dr. Norman Doidge’s "The Brain That Changes Itself" presents compelling evidence of this phenomenon, illustrating the brain's remarkable ability to reorganize itself by forming new neural connections throughout life. For instance, he highlights the story of a woman who lost her sense of balance due to an antibiotic's side effect. Through innovative therapy that involved a form of retraining her brain, she was eventually able to regain function, a testament to the brain's malleability. This adaptability is harnessed and amplified through diligent repetition and practice, enabling these nascent pathways to strengthen and ultimately, become second nature, thereby improving our proficiency in the newly acquired skills.
Observing the Natural Learners: Children
Children are exemplary models of the learning curve in action. Their journey from being completely dependent to achieving various milestones like walking, talking, or even riding a bike is commendable. They stumble, fall, mispronounce words, but they get up and try again, devoid of self-consciousness.
According to University of California researchers, by the age of four, most children have learned an estimated 5,000 to 10,000 words, showcasing the incredible pace at which young brains absorb information. Their resilience, curiosity, and tenacity provide crucial lessons for adults embarking on learning journeys.
Cultivating a Growth Mindset
A term coined by Dr. Carol S. Dweck in her transformative work, a growth mindset is the belief that abilities can be developed with effort, training, and perseverance. Leaders with a growth mindset are more resilient, adaptive, and open to feedback, viewing challenges as opportunities rather than threats.
For further insights on cultivating a growth mindset, I've created a comprehensive worksheet which can be accessed free of charge here. This resource provides actionable steps to shift from a fixed to a growth mindset, ensuring consistent personal and professional development.
Practical Tips for Effective Learning: A Roadmap
What hinders our learning is often rooted in our environment, past educational experiences, mindset, and fear of the unknown. Overcoming these factors is essential. When we surround ourselves with a community that values learning, challenge the rigidity of past learning experiences, foster a strong, positive self-image as a learner, and be willing to step into the unknown, we can overcome these factors and embrace the growth mindset!
Here are some actionable tips for getting into the learning zone with ease:
💪🏽 Seek Guidance from Experts: To enhance your learning curve, actively seek out those who have excelled in the area you're interested in. By engaging with a coach or mentor, you gain access to their valuable insights and experiences, which can help you avoid common pitfalls and accelerate your growth.
💪🏽 Segment Your Challenges: Instead of being daunted by the ultimate goal, dissect your challenges into smaller, more attainable objectives. This approach allows for a clearer focus on the immediate tasks at hand, making the learning process more digestible and less overwhelming.
💪🏽 Cultivate a Learner's Mindset: Approach learning with the open-mindedness and inquisitiveness of a child. Recognize that errors are a natural part of the learning journey, and maintain a light-hearted attitude that does not fear mistakes but learns from them.
💪🏽 Commit to Consistent Practice: Acknowledge that dedication to regular practice is key in mastering a new skill. Often, persistent effort can outweigh innate talent, making practice an indispensable ally in your journey towards expertise.
💪🏽 Celebrate Incremental Progress: Make it a habit to acknowledge and celebrate every small victory along the way. These moments of recognition fuel your motivation and remind you that every step forward is an achievement towards your larger goal.
💪🏽 Overcome Initial Resistance a.k.a. 'the starter's block': Push yourself to begin, even when it feels daunting. Starting can be the most challenging part, but once initiated, the momentum of progress will carry you forward into a productive rhythm.
💪🏽 Normalize the Challenge: Understand that if you find a skill challenging to acquire, you're not alone. Many people experience the same struggle, often disguising their difficulties while they persevere. This realization can be comforting and reduce feelings of isolation in your learning process.
💪🏽 Maintain Realistic Comparisons: Avoid unfair comparisons with individuals who have significantly more experience. Remember that professionals, like seasoned swimmers, have invested countless hours into honing their skills, which is a journey you are just embarking on.
💪🏽 Harness Your Determination: Embrace perseverance and resilience. The path to mastery is paved with challenges, but by keeping your grit alive, the moment of triumph will be all the more rewarding when you eventually reach your goal.
💪🏽 Practice Self-Compassion: If hopelessness creeps in, allow yourself a moment of rest. Sometimes, stepping away to recharge your batteries with something as simple as a nap can provide the necessary clarity and energy to tackle the task with renewed vigor upon your return.
In conclusion, the journey of learning is as intricate as it is rewarding. By adopting a growth mindset and recognizing the nuances of the learning curve, we set the stage for a transformative personal and professional evolution. Indeed, the path to mastery will be replete with its share of challenges and triumphs, but each step we take is more than progress—it's a testament to our untapped potential being realized.
We have got this! 💪🏽